


Burned

by Sapph



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-06-01
Packaged: 2018-02-03 00:32:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1724567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapph/pseuds/Sapph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She asks for thoughts and feelings, but there is nothing of value inside the blackened walls of his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burned

**Author's Note:**

> I guess this is what happens when your favourite character turns out to be broken. (sigh)

She is cautious and gentle, but he breaks beneath her touch, the palm of her hand warm across the back of his own. His bones are heavy and his heart is worn. She asks for thoughts and feelings, but there is nothing of value inside the blackened walls of his mind.

 

_He flicks the lighter and tries to burn out the memories._

 

Her eyes are dark but kind, filled with such empathy. He knows she has suffered, has been left abandoned in a world that should have sheltered her, and yet when she smiles at him, it's effortless. He can never quite manage to curl his lips into the right shape without feeling like a fraud.

 

_He is jagged smiles and broken glass, wine dripping down the walls as he chokes on his hatred. A different kind of darkness all together._

 

The corner of her mouth dips when he doesn't respond. He wants to reach out, smooth the tense lines that his silence has carved into her brow. But he doesn't.

 

_He curls into a ball and cries, but his tears drip inwards, gather in his jaw and turn to ice. His younger brother scurries away from the darkness that swells inside him. His sister cradles his head in her hands as if the pressure of her fingers could be enough to hold it back._

 

_It isn't._

 

_He can handle the knuckles that drag against his skin, pressing blame into the canvass of his soul. It is the emptiness in their eyes that kills him, the rage that burns out until there is only indifference._

 

_One day, perched on the sturdy bough of a felled oak tree, taking a break from raking leaves, he tells his brother he's tired. Maynard looks at him, clear-eyed for the first in a long time, and says grimly,“we can sleep when we're dead”. They both burst out laughing, and with every shake of his shoulders, he shatters._

 

_That night, he balances the edge of his father's razor on the inside of his wrist and wonders what it's like to look into the mirror and see a person._

 

She moves her hand to his shoulder, lips brimming with words that are lost in the echoes of his failures. Her touch is light, intend to be comforting. He wonders what it's like to have fingers that move with such precision for things other than destruction.

 

_He is no one's saviour. He pushes his younger brother to the ground as Maynard crows at his back. Kicks once reluctantly and shouts, hoping to satisfy his brother with words instead of punches, hoping to drown out the roaring of his guilt._

 

_He finds them later, huddled together in the space between his bed and the wall. He freezes in surprise. Monster, his sister's eyes should say, but the look she gives him is sad and grateful and he doesn't understand -he thinks it might have been easier if they'd hated him._

 

“Grant,” Skye says, concern evident in her voice, and the sound of his name takes his breath away.

 

_He claws at the arms that hold him down as he tries to scream but only succeeds at inhaling water. The world's reduced to the burning of his lungs and the blurred image of his brother above him. His head slams against the jagged surface of the rocks at the bottom of the stream. He thinks of his little brother in that well, screaming his name in panic, and goes limp -and suddenly there is air. He gasps and chokes, hears his sister crying his name through the pulsing in his ears, and trashes in his brother's grip. Fingers tighten around his neck and he's under again._

 

He looks at her, straightens his shoulders and steels himself for what he's about to do.

 

“I lied to you,” he says. “I lied to you all.”

 

She listens quietly as he starts talking, eyes wide with confusion until, at a certain point, realization sinks in and she jerks away, off the chair and across the room in a second. Her face is twisted in disbelief, her eyes lit with betrayal. She shouts, spits and rages. He lets her, knows that the commotion will soon draw the attention of their- her team mates. She's wild and ferocious. Beautiful. Alive. And in that moment, he can see why he never stood a chance.

 

She is fire.

 

_He is ashes._


End file.
